MEET THE TEAM: Sarah's Journey to Motherhood

Along with founder Amy Lauren, my cousin Nicole and friend Laura - I’m one of the ‘Founding Mothers’ of MotherDaily. Our vision for MotherDaily goes far beyond being a safe and integrated supplement company, we’re creating a community for mothers and caregivers to learn, share and grow together. The brand was born out of friendship, family and community, and that will always remain at the heart of who we are.

A little bit about me…

 I’m a Perth local, who moved to Sydney in 2017 after splitting with my husband a few years prior. I was footloose and fancy-free, running my own tourism and event PR consultancy, living my best life on the beaches of Bondi.

 One fateful February night, an old friend from Perth (who I’d had a crush on since first meeting him as a 15-year-old, 20 years prior), called to say he was coming to Sydney for work and asked whether I wanted to have dinner…it just happened to be Valentine’s Day. He’d split from his wife of more than a decade a year earlier and moved to Melbourne for his music career. And this was the first time we were ever catching up as two adult, single people.

 The condensed version of our love story:

 We kissed, we skipped between Bondi and Collingwood in a whirlwind long-distance romance, and five months later…we were pregnant.

We were both thrilled and so excited with this unexpected turn of events, but the control-freak in me was utterly terrified as this was not part of my ‘plan’. I’m a (reformed) perfectionist and chronic overthinker. To function in the world of PR and events, there’s nothing I love more than a detailed Excel spreadsheet outlining how everything is going to roll out.

 Before dating Joel, falling in love and getting pregnant, I had every intention of heading back to the West after a few years of fun in Sydney, but things suddenly got a lot more complicated. And we were faced with a very big (growing by the day) decision. Should he move to Sydney? Should I move to Melbourne? Should we both move back to Perth?

 NEVER in my wildest dreams did I imagine having a baby without my mum, sister, cousin, and best friends close by to me. In Perth – pretty much all of my “people” live within a 3-kilometre radius to each other. But at the same time, I knew how long my beautiful partner had waited to leave Perth for Melbourne to take his career to the next level. After much consideration, I decided Melbourne was the best place for ‘us’ and we could just fly back to Perth every few months like I had been whilst living in Sydney.

I officially moved to Melbourne seven weeks before giving birth to our baby girl. I knew no one there (apart from my partner, his mum and sister who I’d only met a handful of times). In full nesting mode, I decided his Bachelor-pad was not suitable for a newborn, so we went about finding a more family-friendly place, which we moved into just three days before I gave birth. Whilst in early-stage labour, I was writing handover notes to the team ‘babysitting’ my PR clients while I took a few weeks off (I really had no idea). I thrive under pressure, and this was my time to shine!!

 I’ll share my birth story in more depth down the track, but labour was long and relatively uneventful, right until end when the epidural wore off and the baby started getting distressed and needed to be suctioned out. But there she was- “Quinnie Maree”, our healthy, perfect little bundle of wonder, our daughter.

I’ll never forget those early days of bone-aching exhaustion and high anxiety, mixed with a sweet dose of love and elation. Looking back now, I went into Motherhood completely naïve and unprepared for what was coming. I always thought giving birth was the ‘hard part’, but for me – breastfeeding was unexpectedly intense, painful and disheartening that it didn’t just “click in” like it had for my mum and sister. Early on, I nearly stopped, with bleeding, cracked nipples and a hungry baby cluster feeding – but one amazing Midwife on our final day in hospital corrected how she was latching (and one of my besties sent a care package with nipple shields) and things turned around. Eventually it did become a very natural and beautiful part of motherhood for me, and I proudly fed Quinn until she was 3 and a half (which I’m not proud to say, I would’ve thought was ‘way too long’ before I was in that position). Lesson learnt: never judge anyone, least of all a mother on how she chooses to mother.

 I also thought being at home with a newborn, would be so much less pressure than the corporate world (again, misguided AF!) I thought my prime multi-tasking abilities would allow me to be a stay-at-home mum, consult to my PR clients while the baby slept, bounce back physically and mentally after giving birth, and keep a household running (sometimes solo, with my partner being a touring musician). The hardest part was tackling motherhood without my village around me for care and support, they’re all based on the other side of the country. It was a perfect storm.

All of this was ‘possible’, but it was certainly not healthy or sustainable….throw in the pandemic and Melbourne lock downs which began on Quinn’s first birthday that made it impossible/illegal to travel between Vic and WA to ‘fill my cup’ like I’d planned, and by Quinn’s 2^nd Birthday I was a shell of my former self. Anxiety, insomnia, chronic back pain, fatigue and relationship issues. I was angry and resentful (mainly at Joel), as I mourned the life I’d once had filled with freedom and adventure. It was a long, cold winter in Melbourne that year – and a dark place for me mentally that I’d never been before and hope to never return to again. The shining light throughout some very tough times, was that I absolutely loved being Quinn’s mother. I’d just completely neglected to share that unconditional love and gentleness with myself.

 A friend gave me an incredible book called 'The First Forty Days' which explains how different cultures around the world nurture and nourish new mothers. The focus is very much on returning the woman to good health and vitality, acknowledging the huge physical and mental output takes to birth a child. I read it well after my first forty days, but it really helped to shift my perspective from one of pressure and external (false) gratification of the ‘amazing job I was doing’ - to one of self-fulfilment, honesty and compassion for myself and all mothers.

 Our hope for MotherDaily is that we’ve not only created a supplement that aids women on their postpartum journey back to good health, but that we help shift the modern mindset of motherhood in a positive way.

Looking back with the perspective of time as Quinn enters a new phase of starting ‘Big School’ and me feeling mentally and physically better than ever, here are some tips based on lived experience of the simple things you can try to feel calmer, happier and more supported during the huge life change into motherhood. 

Welcome to our village, we’re all in this together.

Follow us at @motherdaily.co to join the community 

SARAH’S TOP TEN SELF-CARE TIPS FOR NEW MUMS

Nap like a newborn
This is easier said than done when you have cortisol pumping through your system – but try to shift your thinking so there’s no guilt associated with taking a nap when your baby does. Your mental ‘To Do’ list can wait or be outsourced to people around you as they genuinely want to help. Sleep deprivation can impact your mood and energy levels, so take advantage of any opportunity to rest.

 Ask for help
Again, also easier said than done if you’re like me and pride yourself on being largely self-sufficient. What I’ve learnt is that it’s not a weakness to reach out to family and friends for support. Whether it’s cooking meals, babysitting, or just providing emotional support so you feel less isolated, a simple cup of tea with a friend can do wonders for your stress levels.

 Nourish yourself
Focus on eating balanced meals and drinking plenty of water. Proper nutrition will help you maintain your energy levels and improve your overall well-being. MotherDaily has been designed to be taken in conjunction with making healthy lifestyle choices, providing a unique blend of vitamins, minerals, amino acids and protein.

 Exercise in nature
When you feel ready, incorporate gentle exercise, like walking or postpartum yoga, into your routine. Physical activity can boost your mood and increase your energy. ‘Grounding’ or walking barefoot on the Earth can absorb negative ions which help to neutralise positive ions accumulated from electronic devices; and being in nature is a proven way to lower stress hormones.

 You time
Whether it’s setting up a nice space with your favourite flowers or candles to enjoy a quiet cup of tea, making an uplifting Spotify play list to dance around the house to, doing a hobby like painting or playing a musical instrument or putting on a face mask and enjoying warm bath – carve out some time to do the simple things that bring you joy. This can help you recharge and maintain your sense of self outside of motherhood.

 Learn to breathe (properly)
Jump on to Youtube and do a quick home breath work session or guided meditation. This can help reduce stress, improve your mood, and promote a sense of calm amid the chaos. Shallow or irregular breathing can make your brain believe you’re in ‘fight or flight’ mode – but with some simple techniques, this can be easily reset to give your nervous system a break.

 Connect with other mums
Join a local or online support group for new mothers. Sharing experiences and challenges with others can provide valuable emotional support and help you feel less isolated. There are some wonderful apps such as Peanut which allow you to make friends and connections within your local community. 

 Be kind on yourself
Try to set realistic expectations and understand that it’s okay to not have everything figured out, no one does. Give yourself grace and acknowledge that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed during this transition that’s filled with changes to your hormones and sleep patterns.

 Limit Social Media
We are all guilty of a little doom scroll from time to time, but don’t fall into the trap of constantly comparing the reality of your life with what you see on the screen. Mute the accounts that make you feel negative or inferior in any way; and start following accounts that make you feel uplifted and more positive. The lens in which you see the world becomes your reality.

 Seek professional help 
If you’re feeling persistently overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, don’t hesitate to reach out to a healthcare professional. Mental health is just as important as physical health.